'til we meet again

I've had a best friend for seven years. Her name was Miya. Four legged, bushy tailed, ginger-tipped ears, distinctive eyes and a beautiful howl. She knew when I needed her, when I needed a cuddle on a bad day. She was gentle and loving. We've spent lots of happy and sad times together. I'd come home from school and she'd be there waiting to greet me wagging her beautiful bushy white tail. She made me so incredibly happy. Miya was a massive part of my life. She had my whole heart. Some people say a dog is just a pet. A dog was a part of me. Miya was a part of me. Miya was not just a pet, she was part of our little family. But most of all, my best friend.

Rewind back to June 2018...

Miya started early wake up calls with my Mam. They started at 12am. She was restless and didn't really know what she wanted and asking to be outside to sniff the air. The wake up calls continued.. 4am, 5am then 3am. She was testing my mams patience at this point. Mam was exhausted having to 'sleep' downstairs every night with Miya. Mam would be lucky if she got one hours sleep without a nudge from Miya's nose to say she wanted fussed. She would bark too when Mam told her to lie down and settle. We really didn't know what was wrong with her. The early wake up calls seemed to get better. She lasted 'til 5.30am. I mean, that's still very early but better than 4am, right? Miya kept the early wake up calls going. 2.45am she woke my Mam up but for cuddles this time - Mam was okay with that. We were noticing that she wasn't her self through the day at this point. She just didn't seem right. She was bumping into walls in our house and unsteady on her feet. This got worse and Miya developed this thing with her paws. When she walked she was very unsteady and her little paws  bent back on themselves. She didn't know where her water dish was. It had been in the same place in the kitchen for years. We had to go up to her dish and make ripples in the water so she knew it was there then she'd drink. This was heartbreaking for us to watch. We took Miya to the vets to see what was wrong. She was put on a week course of steroids in case she had a bad infection. We sat as a family in the vet room with Miya. The vet done some tests and discovered that Miya had also lost her sight as well as lost strength in her legs. This wasn't right. This was sad. My baby girl was poorly. Day three on the steroids, Miya was very sleepy. She was snoozing a lot and curled up on her little bed in front of the fire. She still had significant weakness in her legs. The steroids weren't doing anything. She finished the course of steroids and we took her back to the vets for a review. The vet explained that her thoughts were that Miya had developed a neurological problem. A possibility that there was a tumour growing inside of her head causing her loss of sight and severe weakness in her legs. The vet explained that there wasn't anything she could do and we needed to think about the quality of life she was going to have. We needed to make the decision to let her go and end her pain even though it felt like the hardest thing in the world and I didn't want to lose my bestest friend in the whole world.

12th June 2018...

We sat as a family with Miya in the room of the vets and said our goodbyes. We made the decision to say goodbye and end her pain. It was the best for her even though it was completely breaking my heart. Me and my mam held her in our arms on the vets floor saying goodbye and giving her lots of cuddles and kisses. Tears streaming down my face and a lump in my throat. I left the vets sobbing with her leader and harness in my hand.

I've never felt heart break like it. Just like that, she was gone and no more cuddles, no more play time, no more kisses, no more walks. She was only seven years old. I didn't expect that to happen at her young age. I thought she had lots of life ahead of her. Our bond was so strong and I classed her as my best friend. I loved her unconditionally. Still to this day it breaks my heart into a million pieces that I had to let go of my precious girl.

Miya was a part of me. That part of me is missing. It happened very quick; I still cannot comprehend that she's gone out my life. When I return home after my day she's not there waiting to greet me wagging her beautiful white bushy tail. She's not there when i'm sad to give me cuddles and make me happy again. But she is in my heart.

"There's an empty space

where you used to lay,

and an ache in my heart

that won't go away.

I couldn't have asked

for a better friend.

You were my faithful companion

until the end.

Now you're roaming endless fields,

forever free to run.

Listening to the song of the wind

beneath the golden sun.

Meet me at the rainbow

when the time is right.

Run into my arms again,

walk with me into the light."

You will always be in my heart, Miya. My gorgeous, best girl. I will never forget you. Sleep tight my little angel. I love you Miya. Until we meet again.👼🏼💖🌈

Miya: 24/07/10 - 12/06/18

xxxx

Mental health | Update

I haven't written a post in so long because i'd simply lost all motivation to do anything so i'm taking this time to do a bit of an update. More for myself really to look back on. 

To be honest my mental health hasn't been great. I've been at a constant low for some time now. I feel drained or like someone has pulled my plug. Any motivation I had at the beginning of last year has now gone and I can't seem to find it again. Leaving school in September was a pretty overwhelming time for me. I felt like i was being pressured into making big decisions and big steps to either go straight into a job or go to college. I tried college but didn't get as far as getting a placement and dropped out. I've now been signed on the sick by my GP because i physically felt like I couldn't make those big steps yet and was having a massive impact on my mental health and also being signed on the sick was so I wasn't going to get into trouble by not being in full time education or employment.

I feel like i'm at a stuck point now and don't really know what to do other than crawl into bed but I know I can't do that as it will just make me feel even shitter about myself. I need to find something I can fill my time in with; something that I enjoy doing so i'm going to try and blog a lot more as I like doing that and it helps me escape. I love doing photography and writing about different things so I guess I can try and combine the two and use my little space on the internet as a bit of therapy.

I'm taking baby steps and hopefully get myself back on track and settle my anxiety and depression.

Tanya Burr's Flapjack

Who's up for another sweet treat?

I'm sharing a recipe with you all that i've recently tried from the Tanya Bakes book. Tanya's Smarties Flapjacks. I did swap the smarties for sprinkles as I can't eat chocolate but feel free to use smarties. I loved how it turned out - and it tasted pretty good too if that doesn't convince you to try it yourself.

Buy Tanya Bakes here

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cooking time: 20 minutes

You will need:

★20cm square baking tin

Ingredients:

★125g butter

★10 tablespoons golden syrup

★100g light soft brown sugar

★250g porridge oats

★1 tube of smarties or another choice of decoration

Let's make the flapjacks!

Preheat the oven to 180℃ / 350℉ / GM4. Line a 20cm square baking tin with greaseproof paper.

Melt the butter in a medium pan over a low heat, then add the golden syrup and sugar. Heat gently until the sugar has dissolved and stir until everything is well combined.

Remove from the heat and stir in the oats. Mix until well combined.

Pour into the tin, spread out and smash down with a metal spoon, then bake in the oven for 20 minutes.

While still hot, press the smarties into the top. Leave to cool in the tin. Once cool, cut into squares.

Go give it a try, you'll love it!

*all credit goes to Tanya for the recipe. Opinions are my own and this post is not sponsored*

Thank you for reading,

Summer Holiday 2016 - Southport

On Sunday 24th July, myself, my brother and Gran and Grandad hitched up the caravan and drove three and a half hours down the country to our holiday destination - Southport. The excitement began to feel real as we reached the services an hour an a half in for a break.

 

As we finally drove along the seafront I knew that I was going to enjoy it. With the windows half winded down and the soft sea air breeze in my hair, the anticipation of the week ahead grew. From setting up on our first day to packing away on our last I never had my camera out of my hand, constantly snapping pictures of the beautiful sights of Southport.

 

I loved how there was so much to see and do so we planned our week wisely so we could see and get to do as much as possible. Our second day was spent having a lovely walk in Victoria Park accompanied by our fury companions, Gran and Granddad's two Rough Collies - Ty and Millie. The park was such a lovely area, very clean and peaceful with other dog walkers and families picnicking and making their own memories of the place. I very much liked the great deal of pretty flowers scattered around the park with their vibrant summer colours - I couldn't resist snapping a picture of them.

 

 

After our little walk in the park we went along to see Lord Street, which if you're not familiar with, is Southport's high street packed with well-known clothing shops, cafe's, restaurants, charity shops, and little vintage home shops - you name it, it's in Lord Street! I was in my element when I found a small little shop selling beautiful home furnishings and shabby chic home décor and believe it or not, it was actually called Vintage Home. I loved this little shop - full of the most beautiful home décor with a very 1950's style to the pieces.

 

Despite my love for Lord Street, Ainsdale beach has to be the most amazing beach I have ever seen. I just loved how we could drive the car right onto the beach and eat our delicious picnic food. The beach has always been my happy place - a place to unwind and just chill so I adored Ainsdale beach. Being able to drive onto it made it so much better because we were near our belongings and our fury friends were able to get a drink when they needed as it was such a warm day so I took the advantage of the moment and snapped some memories.

 

 

My brother loved running down to the sea with Millie and Ty not far behind. I'm not a massive lover of the sea so I stayed behind the camera instead.

 



 

We also had a walk along the pier but sadly we didn't spend too much time as the wind was very bitter against our face but I did manage to get a cute snap of Grandad looking through the telescope getting a view of Blackpool Tower.

 

 

Walking back out of the pier it was such a happy scene as the children were engrossed in the carousel. Their parents standing waving as they passed them on the little horses varnished in gold.

 

 

We took another day of the week to go to Ainsdale beach because we adored it so much and as some of you may know, I'm a massive sucker for pretty sunsets and could watch the sun go down and the sky turn bright shades of orange and pink at any chance I had so I was in my element once again when I could watch the sun set on the beach. It was the most beautiful thing I ever did see. It was as almost like the sun was going to disappear into the shimmering ocean.

 

 

As our week drew to a close, we spent our second-to-last day in Victoria Park. The day was lovely and warm so I took the chance to go to the ice cream van just around the corner from the park bench we were sitting to fetch a refreshing ice lolly back with me. While myself and Gran and Grandad were waiting for my brother in the playground, we sat peacefully and had a good ol' natter. The view from the little wooden bridge was so gorgeous and tranquil, watching the small rowing boats glide past on the lake.

 

 

I just love this snap I got of Gran and Grandad being all cute. It looks so natural as they're in mid-laugh - so adorable!

 

 

I've had the most wonderful holiday this Summer in Southport and I couldn't thank Gran and Grandad enough for making it happen and for being there to share the memories with. I've loved every minute of it and loved spending time with my 'golden oldies' and thank you to the Southport Caravan Club Site for an unforgettable holiday. It was a pleasure to have visited Southport.

 

Thank you for reading,

 



Tanya Burr's Lemon Drizzle Loaf

Hello everyone!

One of my favourite recipes is lemon drizzle and one of my favourite YouTubers is Tanya Burr so I teamed the two together and baked 'Tanya's Lemon Drizzle Loaf' from her book, 'Love Tanya'. 

For the cake:

3 eggs

170g self-raising flour

170g caster sugar

170g butter

1 teaspoon baking powder

zest of 2 lemons

For the icing:

150g icing sugar

juice of 2 lemons

Lets bake!

Pre-heat your oven to 180℃. Mix the eggs, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and the zest of two lemons into a big mixing bowl. line your baking tin with a bit of butter or use a non-stick baking tin and pour mixture in. Bake for 35-45 minutes - the cooking time depends on the size of the tin and your oven. To check your cake is ready, slide a knife into the centre and if it comes out clean, it is ready to come out of the oven.

Mix together the icing sugar and juice of the two lemons to make the drizzle. Stir it together - it should be quite quite a watery consistency. While your cake is still hot, poke it all over with a skewer or sharp knife, and then pour over the drizzle so it can soak in.

(make sure you sieve your icing sugar because i made the mistake of not sieving mine and as you can see, it looked quite bumpy) ha ha.

Thank you for reading,

Adult Colouring Books & Why I Use Them

Hello everyone!

I'm talking a little bit about adult colouring books today as i thought it was a good topic to include on my blog. So with having anxiety, things can sometimes begin to get too much or stressful and we sometimes begin to get overwhelmed at how much pressure we have on us teens from school etc. Which is why we need something to relieve our stress and sooth our busy little minds so I like to use adult colouring books.

I find that they're the best way for me to de-stress and have some me-time. I particularly like Andrew Davis' 'Rangoli Adult Colouring book' as it has some lovely bohemian and 'bespoke rangoli-inspired patterns' which i absolutely love. They look beautiful once they're coloured in.

I also love Millie Marotta's 'Animal Kingdom a colouring book adventure'. I love this one as there are so many different pretty intricate designs to be coloured. The elephant pages are my favourite in this one as they're my favourite animals.

I think these adult colouring books are a marvellous idea that people have came up with - they could massively improve peoples stress levels and anxiety. I could spend all day colouring them in if I really wanted to.

Thank you for reading,

Valentines cupcakes

 

Hello everyone..

Since it's nearly Valentines Day, I've created some delicious sweet treats for the occasion. The cupcakes are plain sponge flavouring with vanilla butter icing on top but when you bite into the base of the cupcake you see pink and plain sponge marble so follow this recipe and you could create them yourself!

 

What you will need:

 

4 1/2oz butter/margarine

4 1/2oz Demerara sugar/brown sugar

4 1/2oz self-raising flour

3 eggs (2 if large)

1tspn baking powder

red food colouring

Dr.Oetker vanilla icing (squirty tube)

red cake decoratives (red sprinkles)

 

Oven:

 

180 degrees Celsius

bake time: 25 minutes

 

How to make the sponge mix: 

 

Weigh out your sugar, flour and butter and add them to a mixer with your teaspoon of baking powder and eggs. Mix everything together until the mixture has no visible lumps of flour, sugar or butter in it. Add two-three drops of red food colouring to the mixture and stir the mixture in a figure of eight with a knife. This will make the marble effect, so don't jus stir it normally because you'll not get the right effect. Then evenly scoop the mixture into your cupcake cases and bake for 25 minutes. They're done if you poke a knife into the top and it comes out clean.

 

Leave to cool for 10-15 minutes!

 

Decorate the cupcakes:

 

First, grab a plate so that you can squeeze a tiny bit of icing out of the tube before piping. This makes sure the tube is ready to be used on your cupcakes and has broken the seal.

 

Now pipe the icing from the outside of the cupcake around until you reach the middle. Sprinkle some red sugar on the top and you have your Valentines themed cupcakes!

 

 

 

Have fun baking, let me know if you re-create them!

 

Thank you for reading,